In Pursuit of Happiness

Leo Tolstoy famously said,

“If you want to be happy, be.”

Is it truly that easy? Surely, everyone wants to be happy. What is happiness? It’s tough to agree on a single definition except to say that it is subjective. And if you know what makes you happy, do you know how to achieve the conditions that contribute to your happiness?

For instance, if your idea of happiness includes being reasonably healthy, then you need to do the basic stuff that promotes good physical and mental health. Yeah, that boring stuff like eating healthy, exercising 4-5 times a week and getting enough rest and preferably, not endangering one’s well-being by going bungee-jumping with sub-standard gear, driving while intoxicated or reading a Chetan Bhagat novel. There’s no coming back from that last one. It’s fatal!

GIVE IT A THOUGHT

Literary warnings aside, I believe it is important to spend some time with oneself to ask questions like: what makes or would make me happy? Are there aspects of my life, behaviour or routine I need to change in order to facilitate my well-being and contentment? Is there something that once felt important or made me happy that no longer does?

The benefit of such questions is that they pull us out of our usual pathways of thought. Introspection helps clear the dead wood. Personalities are dynamic, changing with time, experiences and one’s stage of life. No wonder our idea of happiness evolves throughout our lives.

The key element here is honesty, which is why I recommend an audience of one. It is easier to be completely transparent when you’re the only one listening. It may be tough to admit to a family member that a promotion makes you happier than spending weekends with family.

MAKE AN EFFORT

All of this thinking is very well. But no source of sustained happiness comes for free. There is usually a mindset or some kind of effort required. When you’re making a list of what makes you happy, do also examine what factors or efforts (both from your and others’ side) make it possible.

A gregarious young woman may derive happiness from having a large circle of friends. Is it simply the luck of the draw or does her friendly, helpful nature win her friends wherever she goes? I bet if she moved to a new city and turned into a grouch, her luck with friends would run out really fast. As would the warm feeling of being liked.

At other times, our happiness is creation of someone else’s hand – a favourite meal cooked well or a shirt kept ironed for an interview. Noticing and appreciating these little gestures regardless of, and in fact more so, when they’re part of the routine is a favour we do ourselves.

THE HUES OF HAPPINESS

There are many types of happiness. One is the boisterous joy of a win, achievement of a milestone or a reunion. Another is derived from the satisfaction of a job well done. There is also a sort of happiness that feels deeper because it remembers the sacrifices made to get you where you are. It’s poignant because it is happiness with a drop or two of sadness, loss and memory stirred in.

Another quieter sort of happiness is when the thought that life is good floats into your mind while doing something mundane. It feels like being wrapped up in a warm blanket on a cold day.

HAPPINESS IS A MINDSET

Many people are bright, beautiful and talented but there are few talents as valuable as the talent for enjoying your life and being happy. It’s a special kind of person who enjoys the big and small gifts of life, cherishes what they have, focuses on the positive instead of moping around like their buttered toast falls face down in the dust every day.

Being cognisant of one’s blessings and being grateful is the surest way of leading a happy life.

MAKE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS

The idea of the Observor Paradox or Observor Effect in Quantum Mechanics states that we live in a world of our own making. In other words, since what is observed is affected by the observer, it means that reality, or at least our perception of reality, exists in a state of potential. It is our observation — our attention — which brings one or the other outcome into being. In a way, we choose our reality.

You may, dear reader, think like I’m forcing too grand an idea into too small a mould but for creatures, on a small planet in the backyard of a galaxy, with lifespans too short to achieve anything of importance on a grand scale, perhaps all ideas are equally big or small.

After all, the universe mirrors itself in big and small forms. Aren’t all creatures on Earth made of the same elements found in the largest of stars? We’re all made of stardust and so, maybe, just maybe, life was always meant to shimmer. As long as you look at it from the right angle.

Millions of years from now, when the Earth is swallowed up by the dying Sun, (which will only be a few years after I manage to clear my Gmail inbox) who says a happy life will not weigh the same as an award in particle physics? And so, I recommend being happy.