The Quiet Luxury of Boredom

If you and I share similar algorithms on social media then you’ve probably come across the term ‘Old Money Aesthetic’. It refers mainly to a style of dressing that calls for high quality, natural fibres, muted colours, tailored looks and almost no prints apart from stripes and the odd polka dot. And most importantly, no loud brand logos. It’s a great look if it works for you, even if it's a bit too formulaic. However, like all good things, it needs a dash of individuality to be truly stylish.

The same holds for other things as well. Somehow, following what everyone else is doing may be trendy but it’s never memorable – be it in the jewellery you wear, how you entertain, your interests or even the things you value.

I consider a bunch of different attributes and abilities as quiet luxuries. Here are a few that come to mind – people who still write with fountain pens, send out invitation cards for their get-togethers, know the names of flowers, birds and trees, pursue hobbies like woodworking, embroidery or pottery, and people who can sit in silence for at least five minutes without diving for their phones. Then, there are those who know how to have a great chat – listening and speaking in turns, or people who still wear beautiful analog watches instead of smartwatches that are just short of being able to launch a rocket into space!

But all these attributes are only chic when they also effortless and not looking to be noticed or applauded. They just are the way they are, because they wish to be. In the words of Giorgio Armani,

“Elegance is not about being noticed. It’s about being remembered.”

Cramming every last corner of our lives with noise, content and a false sense of urgency only serves to suck out the joy of everyday life. People who enjoy the passage of time mindfully even as they go about the routines of daily life as we all do, have an underrated elegance about them. Unsurprisingly, they appear more relaxed because they allow for leisure, pleasure and boredom.

In my opinion, privacy and having the leisure to be bored are the last true luxuries. Frankly, if they were stocks in trade, I would buy in, based purely on their diminishing availability.

If you think about it, there’s something so calming and effortlessly cool about being unrushed and getting off the hamster wheel of mindless busyness. So many of us spend so much of our time recording and measuring every aspect of our lives, that we may well be bypassing the living part. Choosing to take your time when you can is about taking ownership of your time, and using it for what you consider important and valuable, rather than scurrying around chasing prizes or goals defined by someone else.

So, that’s that regarding leisure and pleasure, but what’s so chic about boredom, you ask? Well, what may look like boredom to an outsider is down-time for our overloaded brains. Also, being okay with getting bored is the sign of a person comfortable enough to sit with their thoughts without looking for a way out. You may think I’m overstating the issue, but let me tell you about an experiment conducted in 2014.

Harvard psychology professor Dan Gilbert asked his subjects to sit in a room for 15 minutes with nothing to do. Their belongings including cellphones, books and writing implements were taken from them. The only thing in the room was a button they could press to give themselves a painful electric shock. Rather than just sitting there with their thoughts, the majority of participants chose to jolt themselves by pressing the button. The duration they were supposed to just sit in silence was 15 minutes and the majority struggled with it. Think about that. Preferably without giving yourself a shock!

It is important to understand that boredom is not a bad thing. It is merely the feeling we experience as we transition into a lower level of stimulation. These transitions or breaks between activities are founts of creativity, lateral thinking and problem-solving. Our devices and constant distractions don’t just derail our focus in the moment. Over a period of years, they reduce our ability to think deeply about anything without reaching for a distraction.

Equally important, however, is how feeling a sense of boredom is essential for our brains to unwind and relax. What a person gains, when they choose to sit in peace at a traffic light or just observe things around them while waiting for a train set to arrive in 4 minutes, is a calmer mind. And that’s always chic!