Do you have a Third Place?

Imagine there are no phones or internet and I am out looking for you. I go to your workplace. You’re not there. Then your home. You’re not there either. What is the third place I should check? Give it a thought before you read on.

DEFINING A THIRD PLACE

Sociologist Ray Oldenburg in his 1989 book The Great Good Place coined the term ‘third place’. It refers to a physical location where people can connect with their community and build relationships outside of work and home.

According to Oldenburg, your home and the people you live with are your ‘first place’. The workplace — where people spend most of their waking time — is the ‘second place’. That brings us back to the third place. ‘Third places’ could be considered ‘anchors’ of community life, facilitating and fostering interaction and a sense of well-being. In other words, your third place is a casual, social environment where you can relax, encounter familiar faces and meet new people.

WHAT MAKES A THIRD PLACE?

Some examples of a third places would be bars, parks, public libraries, religious centres like temples or churches, recreation centres, social clubs, gyms, etc. However, not every public place you like to hang out is a third place. The key distinction being that in a third place, everyone knows your name and you know theirs. To be frank, even an 80% strike rate will do! A sense of community is the main thing.

The other characteristics of a third place include easy accessibility and its occupants being under no obligation to be there. Another feature is the irrelevance of one’s socio-economic status, allowing for a sense of commonality. Most third places have no prerequisites that would prevent acceptance or participation. That being said, this isn’t strictly true in case of country clubs and social clubs which do have some requirements for membership. At the very least, a third place needs to be a place where shifting fortunes don’t impact the sense of belonging.

A key element of third places is playful and light-hearted conversation, even if it’s not the only activity. The vibe is wholesome rather than fancy. Most importantly, occupants of third places often have the same feelings of warmth, possession, and belonging as they would in their own homes.

SOCIAL RELEVANCE

In his 1989 book, Ray Oldenburg argued that third places are important for civil society, democracy and civic engagement. 

All of these are still required in today’s world. What’s new is the need for people to see each other’s humanity instead of just their political leanings or social status. In the 2025 sequel, The Great Good Place Revisited, Oldenburg's co-author, Karen Christensen argues that third places are the answer to loneliness and political polarization.

Come to think of it, social media algorithms have created a world where too many of us are living in virtual silos – where we see only what we agree or engage with. That’s not how human beings were meant to live.

Most people today, especially in cities don’t know their neighbours and even minimal social interaction in places like malls and supermarkets have become optional with large numbers of people choosing to shop online even for daily provisions. This has led to a majority of people suffering from loneliness.

EPIDEMIC OR NOT, LONELINESS FEELS BAD

I remember reading, a few years ago, several alarmist articles about the dangers of loneliness, spawned by a statement by Dr. Vivek Murthy, former US Surgeon General. He stated,

“Loneliness and weak social connections are associated with a reduction in lifespan similar to that caused by smoking 15 cigarettes a day”.

Now, that does seem a bit excessive even for someone like me who believes there is a link between healthy social connections and well-being. So, here’s what I got from it: if you’re going smoke, don’t do it alone. That would be a double whammy!

COURTING CONNECTIONS

Jokes apart, we could all do with third places in our lives. Almost a decade ago, I started frequenting the badminton court in my housing locality. It was at the time, a cracked cement court with no net or lights. Someone or the other would bring a net and so it began.

Eventually, we petitioned to have the condition of the court improved. After a few hiccups, it got done. The court was a place for conversation, new friendships, banding together for the welfare of our community dogs (who would join in for petting and socialising) and of course, badminton.

The members of this community ranged from 12 years of age to 60 and people looked out for each other. But the best part was a sense of belonging. I’d be driving home from work after a long day and be waved down by someone asking, “Where have you been? Haven’t seen you in a while. Come for baddy.” And even though I would be tired, I’d freshen up, change my clothes and show up. And just like that, even a good day would get a whole lot better. That’s the magic of community and of having a third place. That, dear reader, is what I wish for you.